This is problem the biggest issue I face in life. I have plenty of friends but I don’t feel like I truly connect with any of them a whole lot, everyone’s different but there’s usually a couple of people that are on the same wave length at least in most circles. I always felt insanely alone at the end of nights out when people would be going home together and I’d be heading home alone, I’d always get quite an empty feeling from it. When my last relationship began I was over the moon, I had been through plenty of petty teen flings but they always ran cold pretty quick. I was so happy having someone I could hold extra close and someone who would seek out me specifically and rely on me for comfort and love. She ran cold after a while of being together and it was the first time I cried since I was a child, I didn’t even cry when my mother died when I was 13. I feel like everything that had happened to me boiled over when she left as I wrongly saw her as a solution, almost like a drug, I unknowingly objectified her in a way but not in a sexual way. She’s a person too with lots going on, her sole purpose isn’t just to love me but I can’t help but feel that jealousy when I see the way some of my friends treat their s/os and these connections remain strong. I feel this overall hole I have inside is the only real issue I’m facing in life right now. I feel like getting my emotions caught up in the topic of relationships would probably turn a lot of potential girls away from me because I fail to explain the reasons behind my perspective. If I had that one solid connection that lasted I know I’d be much happier overall. I shouldn’t rely on someone else for that extra layer of happiness but I don’t know any healthy solutions, many people commented how much happier I seemed when I was in a relationship. I definitely felt like a lot of the menial shit that would generally annoy me didn’t even phase me in the slightest when she was in my life and now since then I feel like a lot more shit just bothers me in general. It’s a frustrating predicament.