I learned this last year with a friend of mine. It's like he was one person around me, and another person around other people, depending on who those other people are. It came to a head when we were at a small get together and this guy was being a complete ass to me and started arguing with me about something really obvious and petty. I was just trying to move along the conversation and ignore it, but this jerk wouldn't let it go. Since this friend of mine was very knowledgeable in the subject and had been very vocal on it previously, I just asked him to put it to rest so we could all move on ("Hey, Friend, what do you think about this?"). Instead, he agreed with the jerk and when I laughed and said that's not what he had been saying since I met him years before he said he was just trying to make peace. I seriously didn't care about the topic, wasn't arguing it, I was just being attacked for a comment I made about something very small and meaningless. But this 'friend' decided to lie about his actual professional knowledge (it wasn't even an opinion) in order to be 'cool' with a stranger. That told me a lot about his character.

It's not about this guy being my friend and backing me up. It's not even about having a different opinion or me being right. I just realized that I didn't know if this friend was being himself with me before, or his true self now. This wasn't the first time something like this happened, it was just so obvious and ridiculous.

While this incident was over a meaningless issue, I later turned out to see everyone's true colors. Long story short, after having several disgusted discussions with this friend about Roy Moore, he had no problem maintaining a friendship with and defending the jerk when he admitted to going to certain countries to be with young girls.

It's not personal, I just can't be my authentic self around people who are so inauthentic. I have my own problems, I'm far from perfect. But I am who I am, I can't be friends with someone who I don't even know.