I feel eternally exhausted. I'm pretty sure I have something wrong with me but I don't have the time or money to go to a doctor. I haven't had a proper period in near 2 years. A year ago I got tests for it (bloods, scans, the works) and it came up as just stress. No medical reasoning for it. I consider myself in a much better place now than I was then. But my body is still broken? I've since moved country and haven't been able to set up with a new doctor yet, my job is a 8:30-5:30 and leaves me with little to no time off (we aren't allowed take holidays around Christmas because it's too busy). Currently paying off some debts so I don't have much extra cash either. I'm twice the weight I used to be and I really want to lose it and be a healthy weight again but I am finding it so difficult just to start off things and continue to do them. The weight also nags at my brain because I'm not used to it and the fact my body isn't working right is causing me to have panic attacks. Is that bloat or is it pregnancy (despite not having sex in months) or cancer? That pain in my side when I bent to pick something off the floor, is my appendix bursting? What if I die? These are all thoughts I have EVERY day. It wears me out and no matter how much I logically know its impossible (the pregnancy one for example) my brain still goes into full panic mode.

I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and I'm just living day to day with no real plan for the future. I think maybe a week ahead and that's it.