Hey, I saw your comment on Askreddit.

I know you feel bad and this might not help much, but here goes nothing.

I recently broke up suddenly with my long term relationship for the same reason. I never felt appreciated, acknowledged by him or loved. However I did communicate my issues with him a lot, but just as you I got the reply "This is who I am". I believed him and I thought I was the one being in the wrong trying to change someone.

I got fed up with him ignoring me and I broke up over text after 8 years of dating. I was so hurt over the way he treated me. I felt neglected and it made me incredibly depressed. After breaking up, which really hurt him too, he started to realize that he could change but was too stubborn all those years. I loved him so incredibly much and he loved me too. I felt responsible for his pain and it hurt me so much that I cried for weeks.

BUT here is the thing. You did communicate with him about it once or twice and he refused to change. He refused to acknowledge your feelings. Two people, two at fault. Don't blame yourself for everything. You made your sacrifices and comprised, he did not. Saying "that's who I am" is someone dismissing you.

Don't feel bad for your choice. Everyone deserves to be acknowledged, loved and appreciated. You made the right choice breaking up and his hurt is partially his to blame because he did not make an effort. He took you for granted.

My ex isn't a bad person at all and I still appreciate him, he just wasn't ready for a relationship at the time. Maybe your ex wasn't either. You made the right choice, don't beat yourself up for it. Hurting him was inevitably going to happen and he is also to blame. Two people, two at fault. You could have communicated more and he could've made an effort to acknowledge you and show love to you as a partner should have.