3. What is something you need to get off your chest?

What is something you need to get off your chest?

Hey OP, I appreciate the stuff you're doing in this thread! Good luck in your career/university search!

I don't need a reply to this but there's literally no one in my life who I feel comfortable talking to about this, but maybe spelling it out on the internet would help. I'm 20 and I've had sex with 4 girls in my life, and every single time, without fail, I couldn't get it up on the first couple times. For my first and second girlfriend it ended up alright because we ended up finding a rhythm that works and I got less nervous. The two one night stands are a different story, I just kinda flopped around for a bit, tried a few tricks, and left. It's horribly emasculating, even though it shouldn't be, and that's pretty shitty on its own. Maybe some of the girls think I'm just a bad lay and it's my problem, and that's fine, their opinion of me now doesn't matter. But what really kills me is when they take it personally, and leave the hookup doubting how attractive they are (and they've all been attractive, don't get me wrong). My last girlfriend (two-ish years ago) cried towards the beginning of our relationship because my dick wasn't doing its job and she felt completely inadequate, and then I'm trying to console her but I know she won't believe me unless I can actually fuck her. This was mid-hookup too, she just rolled over and teared up, and the image really stuck with me. It took a few weeks but eventually it worked out for her, and we had a pretty healthy relationship, but it really shook my confidence.

But now I'm scared to hook up with people because I'm worried that I won't 'perform', which will continue the downwards spiral of sexual anxiety. Everytime I get close to a girl, I push off the sexual stuff and I feel dishonest because I want to fuck, but I feel like I can't. Idk, it's a problem for some guys and maybe I'll find some medication or some shit like that, but for now I'm just going to ignore it and do my work.

But yeah, it doesn't matter if you read this or not, I'm just glad to get it off my chest. Cheers

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