I had an employee tell me recently that I am passive aggressive in some of my mannerisms and I was genuinely mortified.

I hold my hand up and say “stop” when someone is talking to me. Yes, I do this when I want to clarify something or ask a question. I didn’t realise it was passive aggressive.

I point at people. Yes, I do this, it can be for all sorts of reasons - I’m directing a question, I’m setting a task, I’m on a busy and noisy floor. I didn’t realise it was passive aggressive.

I ask “why is that?” Often. Yes I do this when I’m trying to understand something. I didn’t realise it was passive aggressive.

I have an aggressive posture and invade personal space. Yes I do this because I am quite tall so stoop in, turn my head and stand close because I have buggered hearing. I didn’t realise this was passive aggressive.

I spent thirty years working in noisy environments where gesture is a necessary part of communication. It doesn’t translate well to the corporate world so I am working on changing old habits because I’m truly not an aggressive person.