What is something you were surprised you got downvoted for?

I don't think I'll be able to change your mind here, but the harm-outcomes do exist. You have to dig deep to find them, and they're subtle, but they're there. Choosing to intentionally increase your SO's insecurity when it could be easily avoided (in fact, more easily avoided than achieved) is disrespectful to them, for one. In addition, it'll change the way you see the person in the photo, which is another negative effect.

I'd also like to point out that anything you fantasize about and enjoy, even if you say you don't want it to happen, is something that you would want to happen if all inhibitions were removed (i.e. if you could act out the fantasy while causing no harm, wasting no resources, etc). If you truly don't want it to happen at all, how could you possibly enjoy fantasizing about it? As an example, take my fantasy about skydiving: I'm too afraid to do it irl because of the risks, so I'd never want my fantasy to come true. But if I had a way to with 100% certainty do it safely (a VR experience might work for this one) then I'd totally do it.

My personal rule of thumb for creepy is this: if the person who is affected (in this case, in the photo) found out what you did, would they find it creepy? If the answer is yes, then it's creepy regardless of if they know. Maybe I play a little on the safe side, but I've accidentally been a creep in the past, so now I choose to err on the side of caution.

Also, you still have not responded at all to this bit: porn is easier or equal to access, it comes with no moral ambiguity, and it is generally more effective for the purpose. What is it about social media pictures of your friend(s) that makes them more desirable than porn? Seems like a no-brainer to me to go for the method that costs less effort and has a higher return.

/r/AskMen Thread Parent