What is a song that you can’t listen to anymore because you associate it with a bad event in your life?

It's not a particularly deep or thought provoking song but Juice by Lizzo.

At the time I was in the throes of really bad alcoholism and was living with two of my formerly close friends. When I moved in I was sober, and sort of hinted that I didn't drink, but never fully came out as to why I don't.

Not too long after I started drinking alone in my room. I knew it, they knew it, but I shut them out and isolated and they didn't know how to approach it nor were they equipped to deal with such a serious issue. It became an open secret that my alcoholism was getting worse and worse and I was pushing them further and further away to the point where I wasn't even talking to the two of them. Way before things got bad they got us three tickets to see Lizzo on my birthday. We were really obsessed with her at the time and definitely were in the "we liked her before she blew up" camp.

When the day comes, I'm able to keep my shit together to keep up appearances like I wasn't smashed the night before, and the three of us go pretending that living together for the past year hasn't been a total nightmare. We go to the concert and it was honestly a blast and the best and last happy memory I have with the two of them. A few months go by, our lease ends, and it goes without saying we're not going to renew the lease. I say bye without hugging either one of them and haven't spoken to either since.

For a majority of the year we treated each other as strangers but that one night was like a portal back to when we were all so close and so happy. It went to how it was before right after the concert.

I'm 9 months truly and honestly sober and it is the kindest thing I have done for myself and my loved ones, but I can't listen to that song (or really any song off that album but especially that one) anymore despite it being so peppy and upbeat.

Morgan and Anna, if you ever read this, I am so fucking sorry.

/r/AskReddit Thread