I'd like your opinion on the following: Wife [27F] and I [27M] have been together for 11 years. I'm strictly for a monogamous relationship. 5 years ago or so she started trying to "sell me" poly. We had a MFF threesome - I made my view clear: I am not interested in further exploring polyamory, and she understood - it turned out she didn't enjoy being with another woman, but enjoyed watching me with the other woman.

This doesn't change the fact that she's been trying to "convince" me to "let her" be poly with other men. This was first brought up 5 years ago, and since then has been an on-and-off, mainly every time she gets a crush on a guy. I always reiterate, this is something I'm not interested in. Likely, I'll never be interested in it.

Now, for my question: a couple of months ago she went behind my back and flirted heavily with a guy who she didn't care about. We fought about it, and restored our relationship to a good state.

However, during one of our fights, she basically told me she loves me more than I love her, as evidence she said if I truly loved her as much as I say then I'd want her to go out and experience other men.

My question is: Do you think polyamory is a "step" after monogamy, in love? Do you think ultimate love culminates in polyamory?

Of course I don't feel this way, because I'm not comfortable with polyamory. In my view, this is a preference. In my view, when she sees me with another woman she gets an excited feeling, whereas when I imagine her with another man I get jealous. I feel like jealousy carries this negative connotation too, and in the end I feel guilty that I'm not strong enough to accommodate her desires. This line is basically guilt tripping me into thinking I don't love her enough. When in reality, in my opinion, mono or polygamy is just a preference, not a showcase of love.

I'd love any input, thanks in advance.