So many people have had it much worse, like the girl whose suffering caused my first real bitterness by proxy.
Anyways, I get my first girlfriend in early high school. She was my first kiss, and first for everything else that can be called "vanilla". She gets this camera for Christmas and gives it to me on loan with a preface like, "I took some pictures for you, hope that you return the favor." So I take some lewd photos and return the camera to her on a Friday.
Saturday midday and my prepaid cell phone is blowing up and I'm getting these strange, short voicemails with heavy breathing in the background. I finally get a hold of her and she says something like, "Everything's ruined, my Grandma found the pictures and my life is over." That kind of thing, but she tells me her Grandma is going to keep a tight lid on it. I'm relieved.
Monday morning at school and I notice she has a black eye and a bruised lip. After much deflection she finally tells me that her dad was the one who found the pictures and he proceeded to beat the shit out of her.
Long story short, turns out she had been abused for a 3 year period in late-elementary and early middle school (which I hadn't known), which beatings ceased for about a 3 year period until her father found my pictures. This abuse continued and got more extreme to the point where one time she had a literal hole through her foot from a knife wound.
I was young, first time encountering the evils of a person secondhand, and felt entirely helpless (in that I couldn't help a bad situation). First time I truly wanted someone dead, too.
We broke up about a year later, all the while she was being abused almost daily. She changed schools shortly thereafter and we lost touch, but I hope she is doing ok.
TL,DR 9th grade girlfriend's abuse at the hands of her father damaged my "spirit"