What is the toughest thing you had to go through and how has it made you a better person/partner?

On Friday June 13th 2008 at approximately 12:08AM some guy on a bike casually stopped in front of my best friend's SUV while he and another friend were waiting for third friend, and shot them both with a handgun.

My third friend came down to find them dying, and had to choose which one he would comfort as they died. He never told us which one he chose, and I'm thankful for that.

On Friday June 13th 2014, that third friend died in his sleep due to complications with sleep apnea, and as we later found out, some stimulant that was likely cocaine. He did not commit suicide, he was with his girlfriend and roommates. He just died in his sleep.

Before any of this happened I was a fucking loser. I was overweight, a raging alcoholic, suffering from severe depression, and had various vices. I was pretty much ready to end my life. I lived on the 32nd floor of an apartment building and was planning to jump.

After the initial incident my entire world came to a grinding halt. I never felt so alone in my life, and as some of you know I'm pretty used to and comfortable being alone.

Any thoughts of suicide after that were pummeled by an obligation to my friends to live a life that was stolen from them.

Eventually I was motivated to not just live, but to live well in their honour. It still drives me today, especially after Andrew died last year. Without them, without this having happened, I probably wouldn't even be here let alone lost the weight, and kick the depression/drugs etc. Sometimes I wish I could make that trade, my life for theirs, but since that's impossible I have to make the best out of the situation and be the best person I can be for their sake.

I think if Dylan could see me now he would be proud of everything I've accomplished.

If you're wondering, I was diagnosed with PTSD following their murder, and have been through various forms of therapy.

You can read more about it here. I'm sure there are better articles, I'm just not willing to read them right now.

/r/OkCupid Thread