What is a toxic trait you have, and how are you trying to improve it?

Being manipulative to people around me. My mother raised her children never to be taken advantage of and had the saying. “Don’t be the puppet, be the puppet master.” So as a kid I would do manipulative things.

Example, my father left the state and went to work for a new job, the following week I was invited to a sleep over. I went to the sleep over and we’re all playing truth or dare. A girl decided her question for my “truth” was “Do you miss your dad?” Tbh I didn’t, my dad had been moving in and out the state for jobs since I was a baby. But being the little asshole I was.....I just started crying on purpose. Everyone got mad at the girl and we all went and slept in the hostess room and left the girl in the living room crying and being shunned.

The thing is, the girl was partially deaf. At the time I didn’t feel bad. But as I got older I’ve never forgotten seeing her sitting by herself crying. Made me realize that my mom my not of had any problems manipulating people to make herself the victim, and saw no problem with teaching her kids to be like that. But it was wrong, I did it maybe 2 more times after that then stopped. The results of seeing how bad of an effect my actions had on people left lasting memories on my mind.

Since then I’ve tied to be overly generous, not bad mouth people, and to always think before I act. I have to try even more actively when in relationships because my mother has basically taught me master skills on how to manipulate your partner male or female. It’s like having an evil super power you’re not allowed to use because the consequences are so destructive.

The only way I can truly say I’ve changed is in my current relationship. I talk to my partner rather than look for ways to come out on top/make him feel like the bad guy. We’ve had a total of 6 arguments in our year together. The last one we had was the first time it wasn’t my fault where I had to come back and apologize lol.

TLDR: I was raised to be a manipulative little shit/play the victim but after seeing how it affected people I stopped and have actively tried to take responsibility for my own actions.

/r/AskReddit Thread