This is almost exactly me. It's a big part of why I flunked out of art school. I didn't have a word for "social anxiety" so I never thought to get help. I have always loved making art and music but the mere thought of actually sharing it fills me with crippling dread. Dancing is just about the most painful thing I can imagine to the point where I can't even dance alone in my home. I adore dancers and hold their art to be among the highest expressions of the human spirit, but the thought of moving a limb in view of another human outside of the most utilitarian functions makes me physically ill. I'm still not exactly sure what's wrong with me... The only reason I've gotten as far as I have in life is that I found someone who's almost as neurotic as I am and we're pretty much content to live shut up in our house together. I feel like I'm getting better in some ways. My self confidence has been growing a little... but I'm almost 40 and don't really have any close friends. I screwed up a few really great relationships and squandered my brains along the way. If I had someone external push me to get help, I would probably be in a lot better shape today. They would have had to push real hard though, and I don't think anyone ever realized I was struggling so much.

If you're really struggling, consider therapy. I should have. There are probably resources to help you pay for it and the stigma is about the lowest it's ever been. I consider it a lot. I don't even know why I resist anymore. If I even post this I'll be coming back to delete it soon. I always do.