So I used to work at a movie theater, and although we were in a nice part of town we still used to get a bunch of weirdos. While I have lots of stories, one guy takes the cake.

This was a fairly regular customer who had apparently been coming there for years, had our executive loyalty card, yada yada. However, he was a pain in the ass and if he didn't spend so much money with us he would have been kicked out years ago.

First of all, this dude would wear like, five pairs of disposable gloves at all times. Severe germaphobe. Any time he had an interaction with one of the workers, he would change the top layer of gloves. He claimed he had been to some foreign country and caught some weird illness and now he had to be extra careful to not get sick. Why are you coming to a place where you will be exposed to hundreds of people's germs then dude?

Second of all, he would bring in his own salt packets. Now this wouldn't be so weird or bad except for two reasons. He didn't get popcorn or any sort of food. He dumped the packets into his Raspberry Brisk iced tea. What? Then, when he was done with the packets, he would toss them over his shoulder along with his used gloves. It's not like we didn't have tons of trash cans around. He would stand right next to a trash can, and purposefully throw his shit on the ground.

Besides throwing his trash on the ground, he also liked to spit. Frequently. Sometimes at people. Sometimes just on the floor. Just gross. His first strike was when he spit on a manager. Into her mouth. She would have punched him if another manager didn't hold her back. This got him kicked out for a month.

Now for his second strike, things got worse. Way worse. So this guy would come and buy tickets for whatever was showing, particularly kids shows. Whatever. One day he decides to come see a show. Not out of the norm, it was a kids show. What is out of the norm is that in the middle of the movie, he stands up, pulls down his pants, and starts urinating all over the empty seats near him. Luckily, it did not get on any one else. However, everyone in the theater went crazy and ran screaming out and were all given refunds. Our general manager was there that day, and this was a dude that took our theater seriously. He took the damage of his seats very personally. Mr. Pee Pee got a year ban from any of our theaters.

Unfortunately, he was not shamed out of returning when the year went up. He went back to being a regular customer. His old antics were resumed, but he was keeping his bodily excretions to himself. Until his third strike came. We mysteriously started having someone that would shit on the floor of our family restroom, and then smear it all over the walls. We suspected it was him, but didn't have any proof. So we watched. Until one day, we caught him. Bitch is banned for life.