What were you like as a child?

My childhood is the reason I'm a somewhat unhealthy 6w5 SP/SX. I grew up in an unstable and violent home with an insane mother who did all sorts of horrific shit ranging from raping me to burning me with cigarettes. I had to learn to spot trouble very quickly just to stay alive, and it's fucked up my sense of being able to connection with people. It's made me both desperate for connection and prone to isolation. I spent a great deal of time alone lost in my own world and the internet, and learned to take solace in learning. I'm always anxious, I'm always afraid, have a hard time loving and trusting myself due to the abuse, I try to seek security wherever I can find it, but never do. I lean mostly phobic with certain areas of being counterphobic especially whe it comes to protecting other people. I tend to be hell on wheels when someone else is involved, and have been accused of inciting verbal bloodbaths when that happens.

/r/Enneagram Thread