Masturbating twice in public toilets which he said was my fault because I had caused him pain and had no choice. Once we were at a cafe with friends. Both times he told me he was going to do it beforehand and I asked him not to.

Crying on our first date when I said I didn’t want to go back to his. He said I thought he was a joke.

He imitated my voice and mannerisms in a cruel way after I spoke to someone once.

He fell out with friends and bosses but was apparently always the victim in the situations.

Yelled at himself so angrily when he lost his glasses that it frightened me.

Blamed me for being late to a party when the reason we were late was because he wanted to go back and change.

Never paid for anything. Always accepted gifts or meals from me.

Didn’t know when my birthday was after six years.

Cheated with four people and told me it was my fault.

Said one of the times was because I’d not spoken to him which just wasn’t true.

Called me weird, stagnant and sexually traumatised.

Left me in a foreign country alone.

Refused to walk me back or even half way at night time.

Told me ok to things but only because I was pretty and if I wasn’t he wouldn’t do them.

Threw something when angry.

Lied about his age when I first met him.

I still look back and wonder how I didn’t see any of those things as being enough, as being too much at the time. That I didn’t deserve more. Or at the least, just not that.