I don't walk on eggshells. I never have with him. Part of a marriage is communication and understanding the person you're with. He isn't the type to plan anything big. I know his issues- asking him to step so far out of his comfort zone for something that at the end of the day, isn't really necessary. I love him for him and right now, he's working to get his depression and anxiety under control and part of being in a strong marriage is supporting each other and not adding to their load when it's already overwhelming at times. So I'm not adding to it because I value and love him.

I never said anything has to be expensive. Or even mentioned a ring- I didn't want one, and I don't want one. I have a wedding band and no engagement ring because I loathe wearing multiple rings or bulky jewelry. But even something inexpensive takes away from our goals.

I do the heavy lifting, emotional labor speaking, and that isn't necessarily something for premarital counseling. He tries, but it's an issue of mine that I tend to take on more until I'm overloaded. While I think personality types are largely bullshit, the enneagram type 2 is something that resonates with me, because I am very much the helper. My personal therapist and I have been working on my tendency to take care of everyone else and always put myself last. That's not a trait that is solely related to my husband, that's a trait that's related to my entire life.