What was the worst situation you've been in when you had to drop a deuce?

I can't decide, but maybe you can for me.

  1. My college roommate and I were driving to Gettysburg from our University and we stopped for food. The only place we could agree on was McDonalds. Ten minutes into the car ride after the meal, I felt the bomb drop. I started to sweat and almost couldn't hold it in. I told him we needed to stop immediately, and he gave me, "Oh shut up, we'll be there in 20 minutes." "I'm going to shot myself in your car," I said and he promptly pulled off at the next exit.

There was a shopping mall but it was pretty run down. The only place that was open was a grocery store. I ran in and asked to use the bathroom and was told employees only. I pleaded and said it was an emergency. "No!"

I ran out of the store holding my behind as my friend screams, "Looks like you need a bathroom, little boy!" Getting the attention of people in the parking lot.

I hightailed it to the back of the store and dropped my pants took a dump behind the grocery store. There were two kids riding bikes in the distance, I had no idea if they saw what I was doing. There was nothing to wipe but leaves. It was awful.

Luckily, my roommate had napkins in the car and demanded I use them, which I was happy to.

  1. My wife and I were down in the Florida Keys and a bomb hit my stomach while we were walking a dusty hiking/animal conservatory. "Babe, I gotta go." I was quite lucky that near the midpoint was an employee hut. It was unlocked! I open a door and see a very small bathroom. The window was open, the water in the toilet was dirty and there were insects, big Florida Spiders in the corners and little lizards hanging around me. It was hell.

I did my business as fast as I could and tried not to look at the spiders. When I was done I went to flush and it didn't work. So, I left. Whoever had to clean that bathroom was in for a terrible day.

/r/AskReddit Thread