What would you do if you find out a person that you thought was out of your league has a crush on you?

I will probably sound like a douchebag saying this, but I think it is relevant to the conversation. I would say that I have actually been the one that dated girls where they felt I was maybe out of their league. I come from a fairly well-off background, and socially I've dated enough ritzy, uppity girls to have kind of gotten over it. I mean, you know how it is with women. If they see you with a pretty girl, or a successful, intelligent professional woman you kind of jump through a few hoops with them. But, after serving a Mormon mission in Africa for a couple of years I kind of realized I prefer women who have put in more sweat-equity into life, maybe less materialistic.

Now, don't get me wrong, I've met plenty of girls with privileged backgrounds that have great hearts and are not at all materialistic, and I've met girls that I'd call borderline poor that are insanely materialistic and dump every last cent they have into portraying a fake image of a more glamorized lifestyle.

Here is the problem, I think that a couple of these relationships where they were maybe out of their comfort zone and wondering why I was interested in them so much they sort of torpedo'd the relationship on their own. I don't know if it was intentional, but I remember one of the girls who I thought was really pretty bumped into one of my exes with me in public. This ex was a particularly uppity chick who was ridiculously gorgeous, but about as dumb as a rock. I couldn't have deep conversations with her. Hell, this girl told me that she wished things were like the olden days where women didn't have to vote and worry about things they can't change anyway and just focus on being a stay at home wife to take care of their husbands 100%. I mean, she literally thought she was impressing me by saying how passionate she was to be a 100% husband focused wife who only cared about being essentially my trophy and my arm candy. That ended when she justified to me why her $3500 limited edition Louis Vuitton purse was worth the purchase. I just couldn't relate when I had lived in Africa and $3500 was like a 6 month budget to live when I was there.

Anyway, this girl met her and immediately became extremely self-conscious, worried she wasn't dolling herself up enough, comparing herself. She didn't say she was doing this, but I could see the immediate turn in the relationship after meeting her. No matter how much I tried to assure her I really liked her, she had convinced herself I was eventually going to dump her for one of these other chicks from a social circle that she didn't feel comfortable in.

I think every example was a little different, but just saying that sometimes people torpedo themselves out of self-doubt. I am married now and one of the reasons it worked out well is my wife was excited to enter into my world, and I was excited to enter hers. It helped that I am a bit of a geek, and her dad is an engineer and we had a lot to talk about and got along so well. This surprisingly helped take a lot of the edge off things initially. She's also hotter than me and she knows it, not that it matters as much anymore as at this age people care more about achievement than anything.

/r/AskReddit Thread