I'm turning 30 in november. this is the relationship I have with my mother, as it's always been. it was only around my mid 20s I started to stand up for myself and talk back and call her out on it. the last year or two, at least a couple times a month I tell myself I'm done. I'm cutting her out completely and that's it. she knows how to get me. she knows I can only see my dad if I go visit them both. I want to be rid of her completely. she's so awful words can't reflect it. I want so bad to have a real relationship with her. she tricked me into moving away from my friends to a new state 4 years ago and since then my life has completely gone down hill. I think she wanted to cut me off from my friends like she did to herself from her (my) family which I now also never get to see because they will never speak to her again. I miss my friends, I've made no new ones. I hate my job. I'm poor. And I fucking hate her. her claws are in me so deep I don't know that I'll ever be able to get rid of her.