The one who got away. One weekend my temporarily "roommate" ,let's call him chuck, & I headed out to his moms house for a night of drinking. 4 other close friends came out as well. One of witch was a girl I liked, she'll be called Sara. I meet her in high school & felt very drawn to her at first sight. I didn't think much of it though til recently because she was younger but just about to turn 18. I was 20 & the age difference worried me. We had been hanging out a lot & getting to know each other better & I didn't realize it but I was falling head over heals for her. And I could tell she had feelings for me as well. Back to the drinking, we all gathered around the table like tradition & started playing kings cup & 7s. Pounding shots of kraken & chasing it down with keystone while jaming out to lynyrd skynyrd. Once the games started whinding down, soon enough everyone was ready for bed. Chuck went to his old room, another gal took the guess bedroom I always crashed in & Sara was off to pass out in the living room. I wanted to follow but my other buddy still wanted to take shots. I ended up having a hour or longer heart to heart conversassion with him til the half gallon of kraken was dry. His gf finally feed up with us jabbering forced him to leave. They split & I'm left sitting at the table alone. During our drunkenly heart to heart moment I saw Sara walk through the kitchen & into chucks room. Now I was alone, drunk, & being fueled with jealousy. I knew she wouldn't ever do anything with chuck for he is not the most attractive looking guy & they had a good brotherly sister kind of bond. but that wasnt enough to keep my imagination from running. I go to the fridge & pound another beer to try and drown out my feelings. Next thing I know its 7 in the morning & I'm up drinking beer with chucks mom watching TV. Tiredness overcomes me & all I want to do is pass out. Well everyone wakes up & decide we want to eat breakfast at Denny's. Me still being wasted I hand my keys to chuck & off we went. In the car I say I feel like I didn't sleep at all & ask a little about what happened. Chuck said he got wasted & can't recall passing out. Sara says nothing the whole ride & I get a feeling from her there's a huge elephant in the car I'm not aware of. We get to Denny's & sara sits right next to chuck away from me. I shrug it off & we eat & go home. Next weekend I msg Sara to see if she wants to come over & chill like she normally does. No reply. Next weekend rolls around & chuck says hes going to work so I let him barrow my car. Weeks prior to all this, Chuck had been acting strange & I felt something was up with him. So I'm sitting at the appartment drinking a case of beer by myself thinking of sara & then she msgs me. Only asking if Chuck was going to be out at my buddys. I replied he's suppost to be at work. No reply so I pound another beer then ask her why is she asking that. Then I say if chuck ever trys doing anything with her don't. Shit hit the fan after that & started a full on fight. That's when I found out what happened that night we last partyed together. After I pounded that last beer to wash away my emotions it only made things worst, who would've guessed? I ended up walking into chucks room where Sara was lying & would say "what are you doing?" Sara "sleeping!" & I would follow with "oh, I don't give a fuck" walk out and proceed to do it all over again all night long, driving her crazy. So after our fight we stopped hanging out & only talking occasionally. Witch lead to her partying with other people & meeting a guy that she has been with for about 2 years now, & I still find myself thinking & dreaming of her way more than I should. I also found out chuck was being shady because he got back into herion, lost his job & was trying to hide it, not trying to get with sara. TL;DR I blacked out, way over thought scenarios, and lost the girl who haunts my dreams. Not my most embarrising or worst black out, I have many worst, but for it aiding in losing the one I love because of blacking out it is the worst one to me.