I was at the bar one night. I was pretty young, just got paid, thought I’d go out and blow a good chunk. Took out $200. I knew the bartender working this night really disliked my brother but, I thought, I’m not my brother so she’d have no problems with me.

Very wrong, apparently.

Had a drink, went outside for a smoke, came back inside and thought I’d check my smokes. ”Damn, I need to go buy a pack.”

Put them away and notice my wallet is light, look behind me and my money had fallen out. Picked it up, put it back inside and the bartender looked at me and said ”Did you just pick up someone’s money?” I explained the situation calmly to her. She didn’t believe me. I had no idea why, she must have seen me drop it. She threatened to call the police and she said “Look, if nobody claims it before tonight is over, you can have the money.” Seemed more reasonable than getting arrested for stupid shit. Cops aren’t going to favour me, one drink in, over the female bartender. I’m not ending up in the back of a cop car.

I sat there for 7 hours, bone sober with no smokes, all the way up until 3 AM. She gave me my wallet back and said ”Someone claimed it.”

I knew that was bullshit, I found much later she’d robbed me of $194 because my brother stole a stereo system out of her car. I wasn’t happy and, to his credit, he was remorseful about the whole situation.

I heard through the grapevine a month later she had a hard time getting home from work one night. Apparently she had to call a tow truck at 3 AM because all her wheels were missing? I don’t know what kind of shady, benevolent criminal would do such a thing but.....it was laughter that well exceeded, oh, I don’t know, $194 let’s say.