Hawks go down 3-1 to the Blues, come back and win it on a late winner by Brent Seabrook in game 7, but Crawford and Darling are both injured after each breaking their hips to trying to stop identical Tarasenko one-handed breakaway goals. Raanta a heard laughing in the distance as Michael Leighton gets the call. He has an amazing start winning the first 2 games in the second round against Minnesota before an 8-2 loss in Minnesota. Out of frustration Keith swipes his stick at Dumba and accidentally decapitates both him and Leighton. Keith earns a 2 game suspension for his actions. Things aren't looking good. Rockford is making an incredible run in the AHL so instead of calling up Vistentin, Bowman makes the greatest in history of sports management. He calls on Byran Bickell to strap on the goalie equipment and start game 4. Down 5-2 heading to the 3rd period. The unthinkable happens. Pat Kane grabs a breakaway goal with 6 minutes to go. On the next shift a weird shot by Ehroff bounces in. Then with 1:24 on the clock, the glass falls on top of Dubnyk as he's playing the puck. The crowd goes quiet. Everyone heads to the dressing room. EXCEPT for one player. Michael Rosival just stands at center ice. Quenville calls him to the bench but he doesn't reply. Then he just loses it. Rosival goes mad and hops into the crowd and just starts beating the shit out of starts fans. He manages to find a way out of the piles of bodies and make his way to the zamboni. The players are coming out of the dressing room to hit the ice unaware of the situation. Ryan Suter is the first. Followed by Haula, Toews, and TVR. Brual scenes. But a hero was in the building that night 'apparently'. Pat Kane 'allegedly' took a clapbomb right through Rosy's forehead. Those watching on TV could only hear as the video was blacked out due to the brutality of the situation, but some say they could faintly hear something along the lines of Rosivals head and something being waffle-boarded away. Kuemper then allowed a record 7 goals in 1:19 to lose the game. Then the hawks win a very toned down game 2-1 to win the series. Meeting the San Jose Sharks in the WCF was going to be no easy job. Brent Burns swallowed Tyler Toffoli whole in the 2nd round series against LA which they swept. Duncan Keith returns to the line-up. Right off the first face-off it's clear it's going to be a crazy one. The game quieted down and kinda stayed that way until the 4th overtime when in typical fuckin chicago fashion Brent Seabrook takes a shot AND......OH NO ITS HIT BRENT BURNS IN THE STOMACH.....AND WHAT IS THIS!?!?! Tyler Toffoli must have been awoken after the shot and is crawling back out of Brent Burns. Very disgusting. Too many men on the ice is called on San Jose. Fuckin NHL refs. And yeah Seabrook scored cause why not. Hawks then win the next 2 in boring fashion. Game 4 is where it really gets interesting. Now I know you're all familiar with the greatest rivalry in sports. Guelph vs Kitchener of course. Well Kitchener had a little bitch named Ryan Murphy who had nothing on our Andrey Pedan. Well during the 2nd period of game 4 of the Hawks vs Sharks series, and this ACTUALLY IS very important to the story. Pedan who now plays for Vancouver and Murphbitch who plays for Carolina were out at a bar. Well my boy Andrey recognized him and slipped a little something in his drink. They were both in town to catch the game but were both running late. Long story short Andrey gets a little crazy and piledrives Ryan Murphy off the rafters of the San Jose arena crushing Andrew Ladd and Wingles who were scrapping at center. Crazy shit. Both benches lose it everyone is going fucking mental and throwing skates and shit. The zamboni was taken for a bit of a whirl by Quenville who by this time had grabbed his balls so hard they ruptured and started going full speed through all the fighting players. 6 hours later. The madness is over. Now picture this. Full arena. Loud crowd. Everything is normal but the only alive Blackhawks players are Kruger, Kane, and Weise. And for the Sharks we have Thornton and Reimer. Yes, bryan biggest dick bickellson was also killed in this incident. If you've made it this far I'm personally congratulating you. A massive hole at center ice seperates the two teams. Out of it crawls a bloody Andrey Pedan. Who with the puck in his hand slowly crawls towards the Sharks net, and you guessed it. Puts it in. There are no refs alive or any coach to challenge so the players decide it's not worth it so they just leave. HAWKS TO THE CUP FINAL AGAIN IN DRAMATIC FASHION. They were to play the Pittsburgh Penguins (AKA THE FINAL EVERYONE HAS WANTED FOR THESE PAST FEW YEARS BUT NEVER HAPPENED) A full healthy Pittsburgh team vs Kruger, Kane, and Weise. This went exactly how you'd think it would. Hawks win games 1 and 2, both games 4-0. Pens realize that Chicago literally has no goalie so they actually start shooting the puck and win the next 3. Game 6. In Pittsburgh. It must be over right? Kessel takes a shot that appears to cross the goal line but the refs call it off. Hawks win 2-1 in result. It's pretty crazy to imagine Pittsburgh scoring without a goalie in the opposite net but why would I lie? Game 7. Cold, Rainy, Windy day in Chicago. John Scott sings the national anthem. A tired Kruger, Weise (who hasn't really done much, and Kane line-up at center. Then out of the locker room comes Ilya Kovalchuk, Dany Heatley, Marty Broduer, Chris Pronger, and Todd Bertuzzi. Cause Bowam did some magic shit like always and got these guys and had them be able to play. Todd Bertuzzi opens the scoring. Kessel nets 2. Crosby then adds to the lead. Late in the 2nd Pronger lets a seeing eye shot go and it find the post and then the back of the net. Ilya Kovalchuk is benched even though the hawks have less than 9 players cause he just sucks. Todd Bertuzzi takes a shot that hits the backboards but bounces off MAF's ass and in. Typical. Overtime it is. PENALTY SHOT HOLY JUMPIN ITS A PENALTY SHOT. Pat Kane steps up. BUT KOVALCHUK PULLS OUT A RUSSIAN HUNTING RIFLE(?) AND BOOM ALLEGED HEADSHOT AND NOW KOVALCHUK IS IN ON GOAL AND SCORES FIVEHOLE ON FLEURY AND THE BLACKHAWKS HAVE WON THE STANLEY CUP AND ARE A TRUE DYNASTY. Fleury was just shaking in the net on the play. (May or may not be because Heatley put cocaine in his water bottle.) Anyways that's pretty much mmy bold prediction on what is gonna happen.