I've commented part of this before on another thread, but I was sexually assaulted when I was 11. On one of the occasions I was outside our houses in the middle of the day playing with friends when this kid a few years younger than me comes up and just out of the blue starts grabbing at me. I tell him to stop, he doesn't, so I hit him as hard as I can. It shocked him more than it hurt him but he stopped. Then his Mum comes storming out. Turns out she saw everything (including the assault from what she said in the ensuing argument) and she's giving me what for. My friends say absolutely nothing. Kid's Mum doesn't care what I have to say in my defence and just rails at me till I'm crying. For YEARS after whenever I saw them she'd make snide comments about what i did, as if I was the bad guy. Because of this I never bothered telling anyone about it. In fact I went 20 years thinking that his behaviour was normal and I had been naughty hitting him. 20 fricking years blaming myself for being assaulted by some shithead poorly-parented kid. And yes, it wrecked my ability to be sexually vulnerable.