Oh boy.
I'm surprised I put up with his shit as long as I did. Objectively, I knew it was bad. So bad that I didn't even tell my friends, because I knew they'd talk sense into me and I didn't want to hear it because I was so blinded by ~feelings~ I'm so glad I eventually gained the strength to leave him. My fear of being open in relationships persists to this day because of his shitty, toxic behavior. I'd try to be open with him and it would always result in a horrible fight/ultimatum/verbal or emotional abuse. Fuck that.