What have your past relationships taught you?

First one, in college: That I was too weird to be in a relationship. Or, if I'm feeling more forgiving about this: That I needed to start therapy and figure out how social interactions actually work because at that time I had no damn clue. Unfortunately, the way he handled me at the time caused additional self-esteem damage beyond what I was already dealing with. That sucked.

Second one, in college until just after college: That two avoidant personalities should never be in a relationship together. We were together for seven years even though I knew early on it wasn't what I wanted long-term. Whoops.

Third one, mid-twenties: That I was still an avoider with no communication skills who needed to go back to therapy. At least it only took me a year and a half to extricate myself from that relationship, not seven.

Fourth one, my now-husband who I've been with for nine years: That I do best with people who say out loud what they need, which forces me to confront things about myself and continue to grow. That most people have a few things you don't like and it doesn't mean you're not a good match overall. That I still have a lot to work on, but that you don't have to be perfect to be in a long-term relationship.

/r/AskWomen Thread