I have always had a fantasy of having a regular arm, but instead of a hand I would have a smaller version of myself, cut at the torso and attached at the wrist.

Now I'm sure you have a lot of questions regarding this; is it sentient? Can I control my mini me? What happens if you need to diffuse a particularly unpleasant and long lasting erection? All of which I have barely thought through due to the unlikelihood of the particular predicament actually occurring.

The fantasy actually stemmed from a (near perfect) dream that has stuck with me prominently, of which I remember the following scene:

I am sitting in my beloved and trusty 1998 Honda Odyssey, a model particularly known for its enormous seven person capacity, automatic gearbox and tendency to be driven by either the mother of six children or child abductors. I appear to be on the first drag strip that features in the fast and the furious.

The race begins and I floor the go-pedal on the pussywagon (that was its nickname at the time, referencing a stray cat that was locked inside by accident over the course of my two week holiday, resulting in a mixture of vomit and feces, shredded upholstery and the partial consumption of its back right leg).

After twenty six seconds my car has hit its optimal rev count, so I reach down to change gear fast and furiously, as this was a dream and the fact my car was automatic was completely irrelevant. As my hand touched the theoretical knob of gears I was unable to grab it, and thus glance down to my right

What greets me is vin diesel himself attached at the waist to my arm, in a signature white vest. He looks (somewhat seductively) into my eyes, and exclaims "do you even shift, bro", in a rather unprecedented Irish accent. The shock jolted me awake instantly.

After coming to terms with the oddly erotic hallucination I decided that vin diesel was an in alternate subject for my arm-mate, as his zodiac sign is Cancer, and would be incompatible with my Aquarian nature. As I have no friends and have no interest in most celebrity life, I deemed that my best partners are me, myself and I.

I believe the benefits of having a so called "right hand man" far outweigh the disadvantages. Allow me to persuade you so:

Functionality

Assuming that my hand self can swivel at the waist, my micro-friend will have a lot of additional dexterity, including being able to scratch the back of my hand with the same hand. Also when assuming that my sentient arm self has some control over my arm, it acts as a seperate work station. Simply place your handy hand near a keyboard and enjoy yourself as you type away with no effort.

External Opinion and Confidant

I will always have confidence in myself, but when that is not enough I have another self for reinforcement. I will also never be lonely ever again.

Pun Possibilities

Dress up your mini me in whatever homemade micro costume that suits your preference, for example a hotdog costume. Exit the safety of your home and make your way to a hotdog stand, at which point you should exclaim "hand me the hotdog", before revealing the context, at which you were actually referring to your "hand-me, the hotdog"

For another amusing example, dress him in a flame related costume. He can naw be referred to as a "firearm".

If there happened to be a way of infinitely regenerating your trusty companion, you can cut off your hand and create an "arm-me army". Of course you would be in a lot of pain after repeated trauma to your arm, and all of your recruits would be deceased, but the pun is excellent.

Masturbation

Tiny, tiny hands.

Dress Shirt Buttons

Those fiddly fuckers won't be a problem after your miniature hand-hands get hold of them. I'm sure they would also work on nasty cuff buttons/cufflinks as well. As for the ladies out there, imagine how easy it will be to do up a necklace behind your head.

Back Scratching and Personal Masseur

The extra arm length and dexterity will insure you are able to reach the hardest of spots. As for massages, see "masturbation"

I went off on a tangent here didn't I.