I've never really fully recovered. Unfortunately my mental illness has put a huge dent in my life, but I'm still here and reasonably happy, so there's that.

I worked super hard to get in to my desired university (Edinburgh). Everything seemed to be going well, but for some reason when I started uni, all my long forgotten BDD(body dysmorphic disorder) and SA(social anxiety) symptoms came flooding back. I tried to battle through, but ultimately I lost. I ended up dropping out of uni, splitting up with my girlfriend of 3 years, and then becoming a complete shut-in.

I didn't leave the house for over a year and my BDD symptoms absolutely skyrocketed. To say I didn't like myself or the way I looked would be the understatement of the century. I found solace in gaming, but we all know it's not healthy when it's being used as a way to avoid life.

The major turning point was when my brother asked me to be his best man at his wedding. Like, I'm an anxious guy who has severe BDD, and at that time, the thought of going up and doing a best man's speech, with all those eyes glaring at and judging me, well, it wasn't particularly appealing. But you know what? I fucking did it. I was nervous as fuck and it may have showed a little, but I gave a relatively good speech.

I ended up getting a job which involved speaking in front of people - a jump which I'm still in now. I still have BDD and I probably always will, but it's manageable at the moment.

The moral of my story is a cliché really. People always scoff when someone says "you just need to face your fears", and when you're anxious things feel like an impossible task. It can be easy if you just try though.