What was your toxic trait, and what motivated you to change?

Impatience mixed with sarcasm and copious amounts of robotic stoicism, its a defence mechanism, its automatic and I treat people with total apathy and coldness. Yet I feel bad about it every time.

I make jokes about the worst stuff when it happens to deflect the pain. A obese co worker killed herself not long ago and I said "surprised the rope didnt snap the first time". I can be cruel to be kind to myself. Its because I am in a permanant state of anxiety I just can't pretend to care about other people more than myself, it's all about making sure I am safe and I wish I wasnt like this. I never actually want to be that person but it just comes out and I beat myself up about it if I care at the time.

I am not very nice. But on the inside I am the most sensitive person youll ever meet, I can think of a sad situation and look at it from someone else perspective and it makes me cry, so you think id be the opposite.

Basically my mental health has caused my morals and basic human kindness to die. Now I am alone, amxious and bitter at a world I already knew was unfair, and I didnt help my situation.

I want to be the soul of happiness I used to be, for myself and other people around me. Maybe once I start getting better I will be able to treat people better.

/r/AskReddit Thread