I've had 2 Brown Outs in my life. What's a Brown Out, you ask? That's where you pass out on the toilet and wake up on the floor.

The first time I awoke from my slumber about 2 am with the urgent need to get to the bathroom faster than light travels. I somehow made it in time, but then, nothing really happened. My stomach was cramping, but I didn't poop. I then got really nauseous, to the point I went to put my hand on the tub to lean against, but then I just woke up on the floor. I had a bit of a knot on my head, but not a big deal. Sat back down, nothing happened, so I went back to bed.

The second time this happened (about 3 weeks later), same thing. Awaken, 2 am, run to bathroom, nothing. But this time I felt the fainting coming on, but it didn't matter. I hit a hard plastic tub of cat litter (clean, the tub in comes in, not the litter box) on the way down one of the times and scuffed the hell out of my face, which was good fun explaining to friends / coworkers.

Bonus Story

One afternoon in high school, a friend and I bumped into another friend and started hanging out with her. We then went to her friends house, who neither my or I knew. I had to excuse myself for a few minutes, and had a bit of a loose movement. When I flushed, much to my horror, the toilet acted clogged. It certainly wasn't from my contribution to the plumbing. So I found a plunger in the bathroom, but it didn't really do anything, and it was a half bath, so I rinsed it in the sink.

We ended up going out and eating or something, I forget what, but all I could think about was getting back to the new kids house to get first crack at the bathroom to try fixing it. I went right in there after we got in the house, peed, and then told the kid that "Someone clogged up the toilet while we were gone." The perfect crime.

Bonus Story #2

I was in a touring band. After a show, we were headed back to relatives of the drummer's house. I was laying on the back bench, and I started getting the bubble guts, so I thought, "If I fall asleep, I can make it back to the house." I fall asleep, we make it back, and two bandmates are sleeping in the bunk about the bench. As I get out, I stick my butt up in the loft, and they were laying their heads my direction, and let out a horrific fart. I dart out of the van, into the house, and spend the next 20 minutes in there with the hot snakes (the name of a popular band at the time!). When I emerge, I'm told the keyboard player nearly puked (he was prone to gagging around any fart), and the other guy said that his "face melted" from my fart.