Long post but it answers your question, from my experiences/perspective:
I've been following subreddits such as dirtypenpals, dirtykikpals, dirtyr4r, ageplaypenpals, exxxchange, eroticpenpals, etc. I like to have a female penpal to write with once in a while but here's the thing I notice after about 2 months on and off of visiting these subreddits; the VAST VAST VAST majority women have a very popular kink and 95% of the time it's being degraded, humiliated, ra--d, abused, treated like an inferior, and just violent stuff. And I personally do NOT like the idea of being a roleplaying or chat partner doing that to a woman so it's often difficult for me to find a partner. But the biggest kink of all? Huuuuuuuuuge male genitalia.
And I hate this specific kink NOT because "insecurity" but because Western porn has brainwashed women AND men to believe that large male genitalia is the best. That Asian men are all inferior (the small dick jokes reached Hollywood, that's why they don't put us Asian men in primary roles but they do put the hot Asian woman that is the White man's lover), that Blacks and Whites are the best, and more blah blah. Even though on r/sex or other dating/relationship subreddits, many (more than enough) women DO prefer smaller or average genitalia because it fits better, less pain, etc, yet their fantasies do not reflect that. Not every woman is a queen size, it's a ridiculous propaganda that people need to learn and understand; Porn is NOT real life.
Women have a menu of porn and are fed only two types of porn; large black and large white genitalia. Men are fed EVERY single type of porn imaginable to humankind and that includes loli. I'm sorry, but that's why society is the way it is. If people aren't exposed to things, they can't want or know about what is out there. Imagine your favorite food, imagine if your entire continent or country did NOT have this food anymore. How would you feel? Imagine all your "favorite foods" out in the world that you do not even know about, because it's not available and it's not "popular".
I'm not kink shaming here. Now what does this have to do with lolis? Men are the opposite of women. Women want a big, tall, strong man, and their sexuality is represented by the weeks and months I've spent reading up on women's fantasies, on the year or so I've been on dating websites and apps, and the sex community that I've myself participated in in real life and offline.
Anyone use Tinder here? Can you guys confirm some women only want tall men? Like the top 5-20% of men in terms of height. I mean, go on r/tinder. They'll verify that's a common thing.
In the opposite sense, men biologically want a "smaller" woman, a soft, fragile, and fertile female that needs protecting and caring. That's just it. That's it. That's where the loli fanclub comes from. Innocence, a female not yet taken by another male competition, an easier target because men are biologically wired to mate with as many as females as possible to ensure the survival of the human race. Whereas the female wants the battle worn hardened soldier with the body of a god, because he can protect her and provide shelter for her and she needs to choose wisely as she can only be impregnated a limited # of times so she'll want the most fit male to mate with. These are two differences in men and women.
Females start to grow breasts and ovulate pretty young. The thing stopping most males from seeing it as attractive is because of societal norms, it subconsciously makes people disgusted by it because it's "strange", "frowned down upon", and "not normal in society". For example cousin marriages are considered normal in many cultures, but in Western cultures it's pure incest. Culture has an enormous effect on how people think. Plus to be honest, most lolis probably would be really annoying and not make good emotional partners.
Why do we humans glorify violence? There are subreddits where people die literally on camera or subreddits that promote hate, violence, and just toxic mentalities that want to hurt people that do not get deleted. It took some serious stuff to get incels banned. Yet some kawaii loli is like the ultimate worst thing evaarrrrrr. Such a fragile community so easily banned. It's because of society that it's deemed bad. I'm not promoting abuse of anyone, especially underage human beings however I think countries have their priorities way off sometimes.
I'm aware people have their fetishes, which is what lolis remain most of the time. Western women love large male genitalia. It's ingrained in Western society, in porn. Bigger is better. Men want to date younger women and younger women (teens in porn sites) are easily some of the most popular, why do you think prostitution (women selling sex) actually works? It's because men want that young body, which is attractive for biological reasons and for the pure primal need of sex. And despite that, men are so horny we also find older women attractive. We find every woman attractive; actually.
I think if sex was legalized at a younger age and NOT demonized, then more men actually would openly find younger females attractive. The issue is that most females at that young age are too mentally immature to be a mother, and it very much gets in the way of their future; school and work, and I agree. I prefer a higher legal sex age.
However just like women have their own fetishes, men also have their own fetishes. It's just that loli lovers are at the lowest of the lowest in society for some reason. if you openly admit you like watching or hearing about people getting murdered (which is every action or horror movie + most video games but also real life videos) you're much less of a psycho compared to if you openly admit you get hard over lolis. I mean, you could be a racist nazi and you're probably less hated or just equally than a loli lover (who hasn't and most likely never will harm any lolis).
Lolis, I find it to be one of the more "normal/common" niches and fetishes. I find it strange for people to really be into poop, bestiality, and these others because biologically speaking we're not wired to want those things. But humans are strange, whether it's food, porn, music, or anything in this world there's probably someone who likes it. Lolis just have a good reason for being popular. I can't defend other things but everyone is different, so it's not polite to judge for liking something strange. To be fair, we're not even in control of what we actually like. We just "do". We like it. And we just continue liking it. Sometimes for a good reason, sometimes for no reason.