Well, I was sexually abused as a child, so I have a plethora of fucked up things I think about a lot. Invasive thoughts. It pretty much sucks. I'm fine in the sense that I'm not debilitated or something, I just despise it.

It's not really fair because I didn't do anything wrong and yet I have to know about and think about things that make me upset and are vile. It mostly happens certain times of year. It ebbs and flows.

I'm proud of myself for dealing with it calmly because some days I can't help but feel like I am the fucked up one, for thinking about it. To really get through that and be okay with myself and not an alcoholic or worse makes me proud of myself.