It's taken me a while to get used to the fact that a partner shouldn't put you down or play on your insecurities as a power move.

My first serious boyfriend must not have been as attracted to me as he wanted because he said the most horrible things about my appearance. He'd call me fat, make fun of little things most women have like a little cellulite, he'd constantly point out other women and tell me how he wished I looked like that, if I ever tried to make myself look nice he'd tell me there was no point trying because I looked like a dog anyway. I think because he wanted me to feel like only he would ever find me whatsoever attractive so I didn't walk away from him.

I carried those massive insecurities into my current relationship and at first it was a shock to me that he never made fun of my appearance. It actually surprised me whenever he would me a compliment or I'd point out something I didn't like and he told me it wasn't a big deal. I'm getting better and not as insecure now but it still affects me to this day