What's the biggest poo you have ever done?

tdlr: I had taken the largest crap of my life, it took two hours and two different bathrooms.

Back in the early years on the new millennium I was a young lad still subject to what ever cheap food my parents could dig up. People army meant to rely on that super cheap processed crap that barely is legally classified as food. Ramen, McDonald's, those microwave meals that cost $0.50, that crap. As a result of this diet I got constipated I didn't poop for a longer than average amount of time and when I felt the urge I went to the John. There I experienced what it felt like to give birth. So this turd slowly eaked out a few inches out of my butt then stopped. Turd Wouldn't move so tryed to force it out of my ass, and the pressure made a fart whistle out my ass. So my ass was stretched around a massive turd that is stuck, it hurts but I realized just have to relax and let nature take care of it. after some time and boredom an idea strikes me that I might need a laxative to help things out, so I dig through the medicine area of the bathroom but I didn't find any. I know there's some in the other bathroom. I pull up my pants with a few inches of this turd hanging out my ass, and I waddle up the stairs to the other bathroom. I make it, and I chug a little bit of the laxative and waited. And waited, drank a little bit more of latitude, and waited. So when a person vomits there's a lurch right before the liquid comes up, kind of an involuntary jump of the body. Well, the same type of lurch happened to me but backwards. Mega turd was free with the sacrifice of time and pain. I try to flush the monstrosity, but it wouldn't go down it was very comparable in size tithe old full subway foot long. There was some blood as well.

I attempted to break this turd up with the toilet scrubber, but it was also surprisingly solid. I gave up left to lay down in my bed and hoped that leaving it sitting in water will eventually break it up enough to flush.

/r/AskReddit Thread