I'm obviously not in your position so it's impossible to see all of the angles. But if that were me, I'd tell my family adiós and never look back. I'd cut ties with them all if necessary and move far away and block any and all contact with your church. Any harassment gets reported. If your family is seriously that jaded that they'd rather lose a son than their church, fuck them all. Those aren't the kind of people you need in your life.

And if you think the problem will somehow go away eventually, it won't. What happens when you decide to marry someone? If they aren't from the church, that's probably going to be pretty upsetting. If they're an outsider, your family will surely go after them as well. What you'll probably end up doing is begging her to go with as well just to appease your family some more. Now your spouse is stuck in this cult too. And don't even get me started on your kids. You think your family and your ministers will give them a free pass? Sweet bejesus no. They'll go after your kids harder than they go after you. So you'll end up taking them to church as well and breeding more members for your cult. Congratulations. You've done exactly what they want you to do. You've ensured the cult will live on for at least one more generation, wrecking your own life, your spouse's life, and your children's lives in the process.

Take me seriously when I say this. Get the fuck out now. You're obviously afraid to lose your family; I get that. But this environment is not healthy and it's only going to get worse. Stop appeasing your family now and start a life of your own. You're being manipulated here. Make it stop while you still can.