There are many times I regret being deliberately vague in order to protect my identity or my husband's feelings in case he discovers this sub and our story.

But this is not one of those times. I'm not defending the LL attitude, I'm defending the HLs who choose to remain in a sexless relationship with someone they love. Some of them must regard the LL or sexual hang-up as kin to an illness, otherwise the LL is just a cold-hearted asshole, right?

But you know better, because some people really do have traumatic feelings about sex, and some do cry, shake, and totally sabotage attempts at intimacy knowing full well that a shitstorm of pain is going to follow every failed attempt at sex. There is something decidedly wrong with those people, and if a lovelorn wants to categorize it as an illness, that isn't your business or mine.

Personally? yeah, I believe that most people who jump right into new relationships fucking like bunnies only to pull out the flannel post commitment or post baby are full of shit. "Too precious for sex" is a social epidemic limited to a certain social spectrum: those who have been reassured by peers that it's "normal" to lose an interest in sex after children, and those who weaned themselves on porn.

I don't have any proof other than the obvious fact that lower income people seem to be exempt from this situational loss of libido. Teenagers with kids continue to fuck like bunnies, as do lower income couples with less access to social media, everyone in a third world country including war-torn regions, and men who were socially savvy enough to have relationships and sex during high school aren't porn-dependent and maintain an interest in sex with real people.

A situational low libido is just that: situational, easily remedied by a change in partner.

Still don't think it's cool to pressure them to have sex with someone they don't desire, and I don't think it's wise or healthy to pressure someone to have sex who finds you unappealing. It's not good for either of you. The only solution is to move on, or accept what is "wrong" with them and deal.