What's the dumbest pick up line that you've used and got you laid [NSFW]?

"Do you have any black in you? Do you want some?" Worst one night stand ever. 5 doses of mdma and and a tab made it worse.

Ever see those movies with the crazy parties and you wonder how;that was my new years party a three day bender in which I still wonder how we all got away with to this day. So many people lost jobs just from not wanting to leave. This chick had come by the night before with a friend and returned on New Years eve. She didn't seem like she was really into the party so I gave her a 2nd dose of mdma for a kiss at midnight. Throughout everything around us was completely bumping rager of a party great live DJs is we've been even had midget drug dealer who fought someone. I had gotten her too my room after the kiss and dropped this line. She laughed a deep whole bodied laugh women do when they decided they will take their shirt off . She proceeded and cue record scratch . I had never seen a stomach when it had retracted and a scarred heap of flesh that was starring back at me. (I have fucked alot of weird shit in my time but no amount of sex education and narcotics had prepped me for this.) We proceed to do the deed and I destroyed as best as one could in such a state-of-the-art class of intoxication. I had reached the point where she was waiting for me to finish , and all I could muster was " my heart feels funny I don't I think I need a break" we then cuddled and that she passed out I slipped from my arms and returned downstairs to find the disaster piece of the New Years Eve I had left for 45 minutes. I returned to a party that it just gotten over chaos befriended punched in the face by the drug dealer midget. I learned that the midget have learned someone in the party had his name and decided to fight this person who immediately returned the first punch and the fight was broken up so my friend is left with lasting mark for the next 12 hours as the major was dragged from the party in order to keep the peace of the house.

Tl Dr : Woman , their stomach looks like they survived an attack from a large cat and knowing that along with my limits may have better prepped me.

/r/AskReddit Thread