The Masturbator.

So I'm soundly asleep when this fucking jerk off starts cranking his dick. Like I'm a guy and know what it sounds like. He's fucking beating that thing like it owes him money. I'm just laying there like "WHAT. THE. FUCK." He gets so worked up masturbating that he fucking fell out of the top bunk and smashes his head on the wood floor.

It was so loud that the front desk guy comes up and asks if everything is alright. So lights are on, this douche is holding his head in pain with a semi flaccid dick and a gaping head wound. Ambulance called, blood gets wiped up and we all go back to sleep.

I heard he was so embarrassed that he didn't even come back and someone else got his luggage for him...