I've always wondered why I'm not called European-American. Or Euromutt, though I suppose that has a bit of an edge to it.

A bit off-subject, but I'm fond of a phrase from science, 'darkness is just the absence of light'. In a racial context, being white (in America, at least) is the absence of racial identity. And sadly some whites that do have a racial identity use that to take others' identities away. Seriously, fuck those guys. Bad apples do spoil the bunch.

As a white man, I know I'm intrinsically not black, not hispanic, not asian, etc. And not a woman, since that gets spoken about in a lot of 'minority issues' things I read/watch. But that's a whole other bag of things I don't understand.

So yes, I'm not black, and I went most of my life not giving that a second thought. Not because I was a hater, but because I had very little frame of reference. There was no cultural inclusion into the black experience for me, any black folks I interacted with generally grew up in the suburbs like me and were generally just as confused. And small sample size, keep that in mind.

It wasn't until recently when a black coworker was talking about some recent events, where I was able to pierce that veil a bit. At that time, the store had mostly black employees, all black management team, including the district manager. I didn't necessarily feel included, but I didn't feel out of place either. And I wondered if that's how black folks felt, everywhere else. That started a series of conversations which were probably not safe for the workplace, but got me thinking about these issues a lot more than before.

I don't think I can stress this enough, that what has helped me see these things, these issues that lay just out of sight for the average white guy, is a calm frame of reference. Don't shove it in our faces, no matter how justified you may be on that, it just won't work. Allow us to experience the world from your eyes in manageable quantities. I might be the first guy to crack 'dem feels' jokes but I promise you I was shaking like a leaf when I watched 12 Years a Slave. I'm not strong like that, I can not persevere. I would've been the guy tossed over the edge of the boat, near the beginning. Just like in reality, noone has ever had to vouch for me, when out with a group of friends. I've not been singled out as a troublemaker unless I actually deserved it. And on and on.

A lot of people say it's privilege to not have to deal with this stuff, but you're wrong. It is a curse. Maybe your ethnic/racial community inclusion was forced, but it exists and it's something you can lean on. And there will come a day where there is a reckoning, in my heart I know there's only one way that turns out well. Minority communities are going to have to figure out a way to include us in their human experience, in peace and solidarity. There really is no other way.