I got relentlessly teased in grade school, I was (and still am) small, and I was socially behind everyone else. I didn't know how to stick up for myself and would react in ways that attracted bullies.

When Columbine happened, I had the best year of my life. FINALLY teachers took bullying seriously, even if by the next year things had returned to normal. It was nice to have teachers being a lot more aware and put a stop to it all for a while. What a damn shame too, it took over a dozen murdered kids to get the help that I needed.

The catch is, in many ways, I also became a bully. I recall a kid who was fat getting picked on when riding the bus. I would also join in teasing him, and in hindsight, as cruel as it sounds, it felt so good to have the bullies on someone else.

Like, I know how wrong it is now, but as a kid, it can be very very difficult to process and rationalize situations. Bullies kids often do become bullies themselves. I bullied more than just that kid on the bus, and I did have more than one person tell me that I was mean in high school.

It feels bad. I'm still a little slow socially, but I want to make the present and future better.