As someone with stomach issues I have more than one occurrence of this, but here is my worst

I was a coach for a youth football team (12-13 years old kids) and we were playing somewhere I had never been before. As I get closer to the stadium my butt is clearly about to explode so I put all my mindpower into holding it and pretending nothing is wrong in front of the kids. As we get there I literally sent them to a random locker room (no time to go see whoever has keys for me, luckily found one open room) and told them I'd go see the opposing team's coach.

That's not true, I obviously went to the toilet. And to my absolute biggest regret the one toilet that was in there only had urinals. No seats, nothing. I was honestly dying. I rushed towards the referee's locker room, because I knew it'd be empty since refs usually come way later than us, and they generally have private bathrooms. Fortunately it's open with the key on the door (whoever handles keys there is just efficiently lazy and leaves it up to the teams to check in I guess?). I go in desperately hoping there are private toilets there, and... Nothing. his was the last thing I could try. I pooped (or rather, exploded) in the referee's shower. Thankfully it was a semi liquid-not-too-solid poop so it was not too difficult to wash although some of it really gave me a hard time. Took about 10/15 min to wash everything and I heard knocking on the door. I stayed silent, mortified, heard the person (I guess it was the ref?) going back. Silently sneaked out, it still smelled like DEATH in there, I closed the door again and left the key on the floor a small distance away from the door to make it look like it just fell.

I saw the ref coming back with one of the employees and they found the key on the floor, ref just assumed he didn't see it. If only you could see my face when the other coach and I went to see the ref later and the other coach immediately said "whoa it smells horrible in there, let me check if I can move you to another place"

Ugh