What's the most perfect comeback line you've ever been able to deliver in real life?

Second week of social softball league.

We played against the purple team. Three of the guys on that team was being total dickwads to everyone, aggressive towards us, and constantly belittling the females on their team.

I started talking to Sara, one of the girls on their team while we were on the sidelines. We were talking about what assholes her teammates were. She said telling me she and her friends are probably not gonna come anymore because it was a terrible experience.

After the game, we all went to the bar. I was there by myself because my teammates drove to the game and had to go move their cars.

Next thing I know, I see the purple team in the table next to me, and the three guys were chuckling as they pushed a piece napkin towards me, with homophobic slurs written on it along with depictions of gay sex (these guys were at least in their mid 20s...).

Sara was sitting there in between them, with a look of disgust on her face.

"Uh cool, if this is what you guys are into, great.... in that case, I'm gonna buy her a drink. Sara?" I motioned for her to come to the bar with me.

She says, "sure!" and invites her 3 girlfriends along, leaving those douchenozzles there.

My teammates eventually get there and we ended up poaching Sara and her 3 girlfriends to join our team for the rest of the season.

/r/AskReddit Thread