I do not think I can graduate my MBA programme anytime soon, and my student visa is running out, but I love my life here with my boyfriend who I want to build a future with. And the blame is on me for not being good enough. He has just started his new job that he loves, so if still can´t graduate soon, I have to go back to my country alone and the best chance we have is a LDR. And because of this, I feel terrible everyday, sometimes I have suicidal thoughts because I think it would be nice for my friends and family to not have to worry about me and care for me. The more care I get from the people I love, the more stressed I am. I just hope things will get better, but at the same time I´m so so so tired of trying and just want to be invisible and do what I love. I regret going for the MBA every day, but I am also grateful that I met the love of my life here. He has been the only reason for me to keep going. But I´m tired. I think nobody can understand why I´m so depressed. I try to live a normal life but every morning I wake up I have no motivation to get up and do stuff. This MBA is ruining my life, but I do not want to look stupid for not being able to finish a simple MBA, so I have to keep trying.