What's one controversial, but really strong, opinion that you have?

I am going to politely disagree.

I've attempted suicide three times and was almost successful in two of them.

I thought about my friends and family quite a lot during the planning phase. How would they cope? What would they feel? How would they carry on afterwards? I had a will drawn up, I had links and phone numbers lined up for counselling. I had made several videos before picking the one that explained my motives, reasonings, what these people meant to me, and why, no matter what they thought or felt, there wasn't realistically anything they could do or attempt to do to alter the outcome.

The few family members I still associate with and the very finite number of friends I have meant and still mean the world to me. That, at the time, didn't change the fact I was having to watch my world burn to ashes around me. It didn't change the fact I would be living on a street, savings totally exhausted. Love for friends and family did nothing to alleviate depression or make the withdrawals from running out any more bearable. It didn't provide any form of comfort when I actually was able to sit down and ask, "Do I eat this package of Ramen raw all in one go and not eat for the next three days, or do I meter it out?"

Obviously I'm still around and in a better place because I got damn lucky with a single job application and the chance encounter with someone who cares about me as a person instead of for having an athletic body or for what I can materially give them.

Had I not gotten lucky and decided to hang on, I'd be homeless, hungry, and a ghost to every single person to pass me by on a side walk. Friends and family combined do not make that a life worth having or living.

/r/AskReddit Thread Parent