I’m really sorry that happened to you. I’m a cop and this is something I came across often in dating before I met my girlfriend. It wasn’t uncommon for women to be afraid of me or to outright refuse to have any interaction with me once they found out what I did for work.

Honestly, while it was frustrating at times, I can’t ever fault someone for looking out for their safety.

What I can say is that the culture of policing has changed (at least where I am). No cop will protect another cop for abusing their partner or committing a crime. 4 cops where I work have been fired and arrested in the past 10 years. One for fraud, one for domestic abuse, one for sexual assault and one for corruption/providing police intel to felons. All of them went to state prison. It’s more rare than you’d think, but it does happen. When it happens, we take action.

I, myself, specialize in Crisis Intervention, Mental Health, and Domestic Violence. I’ve put quite a few domestic abusers away.

In my personal life, I have a loving relationship with my girlfriend. While I’m not perfect, I’ve never raised a hand, raised my voice, or been abusive towards her. Most men and women I’ve worked with are in relationships and while those relationships aren’t perfect, they’re mostly happy. If one of them was abusive towards their partner, I’d report them to protect their partner. I’m positive they’d do the same of me to protect my girlfriend if they had to.

Lastly, if you deal with an abusive situation involving a police Officer you know you personally, report them to their department AND your State’s Attorney General. That way there’s concurrent and independent local and state investigations.

Please don’t be disheartened if the investigation doesn’t move as quickly as you’d hope, or if you’re asked questions that come off as skeptical of your claim. Contrary to what statistics say, false accusations and false reporting is common. I’ve had 5 complaints against me (in relation to on-duty encounters) in the past year. All 5 have been disproven thanks to body-worn camera footage.

I can’t guarantee that every police Officer and every police department will respond the same way. But if you somehow encounter me out there, I always listen to my victims and take them seriously unless incontrovertible factual evidence tells me I shouldn’t.

TL;DR: Some cops are shitbags, most aren’t. Police culture has changed and we are actively seeking out and throwing out the “bad apples.” If a cop does something shitty, report it to your local AND state authorities.