This is an awful feeling. Even though my SO and I both work full time and make the same annual salary, my job is very unfulfilling, not future-oriented or in line with my professional goals. His is the opposite.

The other day I was telling him about how my job makes me feel worthless and isolated. In my free time I'm taking courses, going to seminars, building a portfolio for a career change, but it's hard when I've been out of my chosen field (the field I have my degrees in) for years.

This has led to a series of conversations where he's told me that he's no longer attracted to me bc my life has no purpose, I don't have anything going on, I give up on things when they become difficult and have no self-discipline, etc. I relate 100% to what you said about feeling like an annoyance. It sucks so much when your SO will take the chance to kick you while you're down.

I told him that I'm going back to school in a year, getting my masters before I'm 30 and will have 5 years of developing a career in my chosen field by the time I'm his age (lol) so if he wants to walk just bc I'm in a lucrative but soul- rushing rut, then he should walk. TBH I don't really believe that I'm capable of that myself but when your SO is so negative about your abilities you have to be your own advocate even if it means faking confidence.

Ugh sorry for the novel.