when i was in kindergarden or first grade, kids on my bus manipulated me and some other younger girls to basically go down on each other. I was so young that I didn't realize until years later that it was something sexual. The memories I have are super fuzzy. I have no idea how old those kids were, or how long it lasted. The only thing that I really remember is that they framed it as a competition and said they'd give the winner holographic pokemon cards. That and seeing them laughing at us. Even now, 20ish years later, I feel embarrassed and ashamed about the whole situation. One time I had birthday party invitations with me on my way to school and he stole one and tried inviting himself to my party. my mom seemed really weirded out by it, but i've never talked to her about it.

I don't feel really like it had any lasting effect on me, but I was so young. It's not like I can compare my personality before and after. I never really think about it, but when I do it scares me, and I try to push it back down. I remember so little of it that it doesn't feel like it actually happened to me. It feels like I just have a couple screenshots seared into my memory that come up a couple times a year.

I've never told anybody about this, in real life or anonymously. This is honestly the first time i've ever sat down and tried to go through what all I do remember.What creeps me out most of all is not knowing the age of the kids that got us to do it. In my mind they were so much older than me, but in reality they probably were middle school age at most.

Funny thing is, as a kid I was more upset about never getting the pokemon cards than I was about the actual situation.