What's something all grown women should know about men ?

Don't tell me your r/childfree if your not. Or if your not sure that you are. My last three relationships (and a couple before) have ended because of this. And I'm ALWAYS the bad guy. I will have the baby talk very early on and be very upfront and clear about my feelings on the matter. I am 34 now and I have had plenty of practice giving the baby speech. Suffice it to say by the time I'm done there can be no doubt one way or another, either you wern't listening to what I was saying or you understand 100% that I will never have kids, ever, for any reason, ever, anything. They all give the same excuses, essentially just deflecting the blame, which is always entirely on them.

 

Story involving recent girl number two if your interested, it's a decent revenge story and I've never shared it (outside friends and family). I got a vasectomy when I was 20. I knew long before even then that I didn't want kids but once everyone I knew started popping them out, I was like fuck that I know what I want I'm not taking any chances. I don't tell my partners I'm sterile until I think it may be a serious relationship. It's a very personal thing I don't feel needs to be shared with anyone you don't think might be at the very least a friend for life and being as upfront as I am about kids it shouldn't matter. I also choose to still wear condoms. It wouldn't be a secret for long if I didn't and again, it shouldn't matter because I am completely upfront about kids before I ever have sex.

 

So, after she inevitably confronts me on the kids issue she spurts out all the usual bullshit lines that they always do, trying to make me out to be the bad guy. Once I make it clear were done she tells me she 'jacked my sperm' the last few times we had sex. She dug through my garbage while I was in the shower each time and 'jacked my sperm'. She was pregnant and it was mine. This is one of those rare moments in life where the choice is clear, you can take the high road or the low road. I like to think I landed somewhere in the middle. So I drop the vasectomy bomb and you could literally see all her bluster and energy just deflate out of her in an instant. What was a loud, snarky, I got you now little man attitude was turned into a quite, wide eyed, shocked little girl that couldn't breath for what felt like eternity. At first she tried calling my bluff but she passed through the denial stage pretty quick. She could see it on what I can only assume was the most shit eating confident grin ever produced by a man. Cue the crying. So much crying. More like wails followed by no, no, no this can't be happening no.

 

After throwing gas on the fire a few times because fuck it, she deserved it and I still don't feel bad for doing it. I took the detour to the high road and worked to calm her down and listen to her side of the story. Apparently she had been cheating on me with some weed dealer, we'll call him James. Shocking that she was cheating I know. Now James happens to be 34 as well but James lives with his mom and his only source of income is the weed he slangs right out of his bedroom in her house. You can probably guess why she wanted me to be the father. Let's just say I'm not rich but I'm doing a hell of a lot better then James is. I gave her the best advice I could and sent her on the way. Never seen her again.

 

Woman (and men) be honest about big things like kids (hell just be honest). I'd expect people younger then 34 even to have a clear stance on this. Don't think that you can change him, that's high school tween age bullshit and if your still thinking like that your not ready for a serious relationship. Also don't go into it thinking he might change his mind. He might but what if he doesn't? What then? Don't blame your man for things you know he was very clear and upfront about. Just because it's not what you want him to be dosn't mean you get to change the already established narrative.

/r/AskReddit Thread