Valentines Day.

Though that may be because I'm outrageously bitter and miserable due to the fact that everyone assumes I'm celebrating it in some way even though i'm not, and therefore Monday will be a barrage of "aww, get up to anything nice on Saturday".

If i say " no" then probing questions follow. But if i lie I'm only kidding myself, right? And it's such a pain to try and explain to them that my current partner is either: a) a robot who doesn't understand human emotion; b) doesn't actually really give that much of a shit about me; or c) just totally oblivious to what day it is. For the past three years I've explained to him that although V-day is a hallmark card holiday, in my opinion all the others are too and so I think they're whatever you choose to make them (or not make them) and for me the main point of all the holidays I celebrate is that it's just nice to feel loved and show other people you love them too. And he seemed to understand the first time I told him, but by the next year had completely forgotten.

Some may say " but surely you should show each other you love each other every day anyway?" which in an ideal world would be true perhaps, but in reality life is busy and stressful and sometimes other things get in the way. So, y'know, it's just nice to have this day where you put everything else aside and make sure the people you care about know it. Doesn't need to be cards or flowers and chocolates and gifts, just even saying "I love you" would make my day.

This year I just don't have the energy to try and explain to him why it even matters to me, and my anxiety over the whole damn situation has reached a peak where i cant even bring myself to say i love him first for fear of rejection, so instead I'm going to just stay in bed and try to sleep through the whole horrible saccharine, pink-and-red-hearts-vomit weekend.