I spent 3 days in the ICU after a suicide attempt 4 months ago.

I took 80 sleeping pills (4x the lethal dosage) and put a trash bag over my head and out on my favorite song, 2112 by Rush. As I started to feel the effects, my mind raced with all the reasons why I ended up there, and thoughts of what this would do to those who loved me. I called 911 and then called my mom and told her what was happening. At this point I started to struggle to stay awake, and I began slurring my words. I basically willed myself to stay up until the paramedics arrived so I could hand them the bottle and tell them which hospital to go to.

Woke up over a day later with a dozen tubes coming out of me and stories of how they almost lost me multiple times. Having to get help to piss in a can and walk around was just the start of the emasculation. Then I realized all the pain I caused my family and friends.

A man doesn't do that to the people he loves. A man fixes his problems, and asks for help if he needs it. He doesn't take the easy way out.

I don't even recognize that person anymore. I fixes my problems, and got professional help (chemical and therapy).

I feel like a man for he first time in a long time.